I'M BACK

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Where have I been? Well, I've still been making things and producing work, but in terms of all written thing aside from the unit 5 proposal, I just stopped. I just couldn't bring myself to stop for a second to sit and write. This all started when the silicone I ordered arrived, but when I came to cast with it, it wouldn't cure because I was using a latex mould. But I wasted a fair amount of silicone which I got quite upset about because I was really excited for it to work and I'd just gotten everything everywhere and the whole house stank of turps (which made me a very popular member of the family during this lockdown period)-so yeah, got myself into a bit of a pickle over it. This fuelled the fire of trying to prove to myself that I can sculpt and I devised this insanity mission of sculpting the faces of all of Bauhaus in a week (spoiler: I didn't, and it would never have happened-hence it was an utter insanity mission). As part of this I ended up tirelessly working on a Peter Murphy sculpture. Fuelled by 7 cups of coffee and a family bag of skittles, I sat for 16 hours and essentially finished him in one sitting. I'm quite happy with how that sculpture turned out, but it burnt me out completely. I feel like the silicone failure tripped me up and everything after that was a desperate scramble to get my balance but what I needed was to just stop. 

This past week I have been trying to slow down. I've decided to focus on 2D work, so I found an old sketchbook that was basically empty that I could fill with sketches and ideas for sculptures and the composition.

 My goal is still to sculpt all of Bauhaus, so I started a sculpture of Kevin Haskins on Friday because I felt happy enough to do so. I'm taking this sculpture a lot easier than my other ones-it's not going to be a caffeine-fuelled, half-arsed speed run sculpt. I know he's going to be difficult for me to do (there aren't a lot of photos on the internet of the angles that I need and the factor of him being different ages in the photos I want to reference will make it more challenging. Also, my printer ran out of ink so I can't print pictures out and measure them as I have been doing) and I really want to be patient with it to get it right. 

I'm struggling with being very critical of my sculptures. Here's a list of things I should probably tell myself when I'm being too hard on myself:
-I've only been sculpting to this degree of realism for a few weeks, I'm still learning and mistakes will happen. When it goes wrong it really goes wrong, but maybe I should try to see the humour in it rather than thinking what unearthly thing have I created, I  should not ever attempt to make anything ever again.
-What I am trying to do is difficult and time consuming. Many people can't do it and others don't for good reason, I'm doing something a bit more niche and that's ok, I'll get the hang of it eventually
-BE PATIENT


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